Wedding advice from a mother's perspective
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Tuxedos, Gowns,
Bridesmaids Dresses
Cakes, Flowers,
Gifts,Venues,Favors
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Wedding Article:
Wedding advice from a
mother's perspective
Top Honeymoon Destinations
Diamonds are Forever
What do Star Jones and Mariah Carey have in common? answer below
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Wedding Venues:
Hotels, Restaurants, Resorts,
Destinations, Golf clubs, Beaches,
Halls, Dedicated Facilities, Catering
Wedding Flowers:
Bouquets, boutonnières, posies,
corsages, church & venue flowers
Wedding Stationery:
Wedding Invitations, Wedding
Replies, Reception Invitations &
Invitation Add-Ons, Envelope Seals,
Wedding Programs, Reception Place
Cards, Save-The-Date Cards,
Magnets and Thank You Notes

Although we had contacted the restaurant and discussed menus, the gazebo on the
beach etc. we wanted the opportunity to appraise the venue at leisure so we decided not
to identify ourselves when we arrived. This was actually a very good idea as the service
was unfortunately rather less than perfect, the staff was sullen and unhelpful, then we
waited ages for dinner and when it arrived the fish was dry and the entire meal a
complete disappointment. It did serve one important purpose however Alex re-
assessed the entire idea of a beach wedding and on considering the drawbacks,
including the major one, should we encounter bad weather then the whole concept of
her ceremony in the setting sun would be ruined, I must admit to a deep sigh of relief.
Therefore choose your reception venue early and check it out incognito before making a
final decision.
Venues: If you know your neighbourhood then you will probably be aware of your ideal
choice and no doubt it is based on personal experience or recommendations. Have your
check list ready. Go through every aspect of the reception. Where will you greet your
guests? Will you be serving cocktails? What type of bar are you offering and how will it
be managed? Where will the gift table and wedding cake table be located? Can you
change menus to personal preferences? Is it possible to provide your own candies (if
desired)? How/when is the toast to the bridal couple? Is there a dance floor and is it an
additional charge? Is the cake cutting and distributing included or an extra charge?
A couple of very important questions:
Will yours be the only wedding on that day? If not is yours the only wedding in that
particular room/part of the hotel etc?
Do they book back to back weddings? This is never a good idea you do not want to feel
hurried or that your wedding is on a conveyor belt.
Do they allow confetti, balloons, bubbles, rice etc?
We finally found our ideal location,........ The Celebration Golf Club.
The rooms were charming but not too large, the choice of menus fabulous, wonderful
garden with Gazebo and a picturesque location for additional photos. And most
importantly the Wedding director/planner Ann Marie went above and beyond to ensure
that everything was just perfect. We were not just another name on a schedule.
Decide and book well in advance where you will exchange your vows:
It is advisable to decide well in advance where you want to exchange vows. As Alex’s first
choice was a beach wedding it was, at the initial discussion stage, a mute point. After
the beach location was discarded we spent several weeks checking out local hotels,
resorts and restaurants with beautiful gardens and gazebos. Then one evening I
received a phone call from Alex stating that she had a surprise and that she and her
fiancé Brandon had decided to get married in church. This was wonderful news as I am
Roman Catholic and although we never wanted to impress on our children our own
beliefs it made me so much happier. However the next problem was actually obtaining
the blessing of the church. There’s a movie out called ‘License to Wed’ and although
there are exaggerations and a certain amount of poetic license within the film we could
certainly relate to several pertinent points. One huge potential headache is that a young
couple may not obtain the church’s blessing, may not get married in the church and may
not even schedule a date until they have passed all of the tests and conformed to the
necessary prerequisites. This actually meant that it was necessary to reschedule the
date (and change the venue of the reception which had by then been decided on and
tenuously booked) no not because they did not meet the requirements, but because our
head priest was on a retreat for a couple of months and the locum priest was not
in a position to confirm any appointments. When he returned we were informed that
there was only one Saturday still available within the period we had planned for and the
only time slot was mid day. Not an ideal choice.
Book flowers in plenty of time:
Fourth recommendation is book flowers in plenty of time. Alex is not a lover of flowers
and it just was one of those things which kept being put on the back burner and it stayed
there until it literally exploded into flames. She decided that she wanted something very
simple’ roses, stems cut short, hand tied. We scoured the Internet, shops, and
magazines but could not find exactly what she wanted. She could visualize them and
they were beautiful and simply made. So simply made that yes we made a grave error.
Why not do them ourselves? I will now give you the very best piece of advice: Do not do
this. Do not contemplate doing this and immediately erase such thoughts. I could
spend the next 30 minutes explaining why this was such a bad idea but suffice to say
that, after adhering to some incorrect advise, we stored our abundance of perfect ivory
and soft pink roses in refrigerators and at 3am on the morning of the wedding I
discovered that our beautiful roses had frozen. Even now it makes me sad to
remember those damaged brown edged blooms so I will quickly move on.
Choose wedding dress and veil style with care:
Fifth recommendation is choose the wedding dress wisely. Simple classic lines will
always look wonderful and will not date. I remember those enormous leg of mutton
sleeves and over the top embellishments. We thought that we looked so cool but now
that fashion curve looks almost comical.
If you must have that dreamy long sleeved heavy creation then choose a winter wedding
or venues with excellent air conditioning. If your weight is prone to change with the
seasons, time of month, or your state of mind then consider one of the excellent
dresses with the corset style back. Alex’s weight during this stressful year was
completely variable and by choosing this design she avoided at least two drastic dress
alterations. Also, if your dress has a train, consider adding a bustle to the dress. It
makes it so much easier after the ceremony to manage if the cascades of fabric can be
neatly arranged and hooked up onto the back.
Compare prices on your dress. If funds are low shop around. Maybe consider a gently
used wedding dress which has been professionally cleaned. Brides usually only wear
them a matter of a few hours and it is generally impossible to tell that it is not brand
new. Or it is possible to buy the latest designer styles at a lower cost. They may not be
top shelf fabric but it is possible to buy a beautiful dress in your preferred style within
your budget. You can also contact a designer direct and ask if they will be having an end
of season or sample sale.
It is also very important from whom you actually purchase the dress if you buy locally.
We were very lucky to have the wonderful assistance of Carolyn Allen's Bridals. Sue and
Katherine (Kat) even came to our home the evening before the wedding to steam out
any last minute wrinkles. Sue also saved the day regarding Alex's chosen dream dress.
When the wedding was finally accepted by our church we discovered that a strapless
dress was not acceptable however Sue made a removable set of spaghetti straps
which solved the problem. They matched the dress perfectly and no-one knew that they
were a last minute extra. Sue and Kat were absolutely wonderful and it made a great
difference to have their professional help, support and expertise.
Hair and Veil:
Contrary to popular belief there is not an unwritten law making it compulsory to wear
your hair in an updo on your wedding day so if you feel more comfortable leave your
hair down. Months prior to your wedding get into a routine of massaging your scalp and
conditioning your hair so that it has a healthy shine by the big day. If you are looking for a
really fine updo look at the celebrities at the Oscars and Grammy award ceremonies. A
simple unstructured hairstyle such as a chignon looks great. Discuss your preferred
style with your hairdresser. Once you have decided on one check how you will actually
wear your veil with this style. Take it with you on your trial run and ascertain that
everything ‘sits’ comfortably and attractively. Regarding your veil shorter veils are easier
to manage but if you have set your heart on a long one either remove it at the reception,
exchange it for a shorter one or choose a style where the lower half can be removed.
One or two tiers is more elegant and certainly looks more attractive that a thick white
mesh swathing around your face.
Have at least one complete dress rehearsal with the dress, underwear, hair, veil,
shoes, jewelry and makeup. Do not take anything for granted your new bra may catch
like crazy or the support may not be good enough for a really sleek profile. So... Check,
check and double check.
Tiaras: These are not as fashionable as they were and the trend, if you wish to wear
one, is more towards a simple uncluttered design. Think more young princess than
overdressed queen.
Shoes:
You can suffer a tight corset and heavy weight wedding dress but please do not
compromise with your feet: wear comfortable shoes. This does not mean trainers or
your old gym shoes but consider smaller heals with a good sole base for stability and
comfort. Check out the new cool in-soles. If you have purchased those beautiful, hand
embroidered silk, high heeled masterpieces then wear them around the house. Break
them in well in advance of the wedding day. Then, when you are posing for your photos,
instead of dwelling on the pain in your feet you can concentrate on smiling for the
camera.
Makeup, nails etc:
There are some absolutely great shades available but do not experiment on your
wedding day. Neutral shades, pale pinks and peaches look classically beautiful.
Splashes of deep red lipstick and bright blue eye shadow should be avoided they do not
look smart or sophisticated. An Andy Warhol palate is fine on a hen night but a bride in
white or ivory looks so much prettier with soft muted colors.
The same advice relates to nails. Avoid the bright hard colors. A pedicure and manicure
in matching natural, soft pink or peach is definitely the most suitable. If you want to
dress up your nails think about adding a couple of Swarovski crystals.
Body:
Months before your wedding start to look after your body. Treat yourself to a spa
treatment. De-foliate and pamper yourself regularly with a really good body cream or
lotion. Take extra care around heals, elbows and decolatage. Exercise and eat healthy
veggies and fruit. Nothing is nicer than a beautiful healthy glow. Fake tans are not
necessary and orange and brown skin does nothing to enhance your wedding 'look'. If
you wish to even out skin tone then why not try a lightly tinted body cream moisturizer.
Dove has a nice one which, if you are fair skinned is really good, you can build your tan
over a week or two and as it slowly develops you can add/decrease in uneven areas.
Book a facial at least the week before your wedding to allow your skin to settle down
from the less than attractive red blotch look.
Tattoos: Many brides decide to cover up a tattoo on their wedding day and there are
some great products out there but several make-up artists recommend that you do not
cover these as most types of concealers will, over the course of the day, rub off leaving
you with smudges which could ruin your dress or veil. Experiment to see what works for
you.
Purse: Ask a relative or friend to keep your small purse handy with immediate
necessities, deodorant, tissues, lipstick, lip balm, makeup, money, mirror,comb etc.
perfume or cologne, sanitary products, Breath mints/spray,
Emergency pack: Ask a trusted family member to make up an emergency pack and to
keep it handy. Include safety pins, small scissors, clear/skin tone bandages / plasters,
needle and thread, tweazers, bottle of water, mints, baby wipes, spare tights / stockings,
chalk for any scuff marks on dress, hem tape, hair pins, headache tablets, diarrhea
tablets/mixture, antiseptic etc., hairspray, ear ring backs, nail file, tissues, matches or
lighter and change of shoes. Also give some thought to items which are personal to you
and your groom. Cover any potential problems with allergies don't forget your
antihistamine, inhaler or Epinephrine etc. If you wear eye contacts or glasses make
sure that you have spares available, cleaning pads, eye contact cleaning solution etc.
Groom:
Tuxedos are smart but it is expensive to hire the entire ensemble. Some Tuxedo rental
companies do not charge the groom for his outfit if their groomsmen hire from them.
However why not consider purchasing a Tuxedo or new suit for the wedding? My
husband purchased a Designer Tuxedo for little more than the cost of the rental and
now when we cruise he has a superb Tux to wear which is his own.
It is just as fashionable these days to wear a smart suit whether it is light or dark. If your
groom and groomsmen prefer to rent firstly choose a hire company with numerous
locations so that out of towners can be professionally measured by their local division
and make sure that they do this at least a couple of months before the wedding date.
Decide on a definite style there are so many to choose from. Once the groom has
chosen his preferred suit/Tuxedo the hire shop will keep on file all of the selected
information which can be accessed by the different branch locations. Remember to
return the suits within the specified date to avoid penalty charges.
Hair: The groom and the male members of the wedding party should not wait till the day
before the wedding to have a hair cut. Your groom needs to look smart and well
groomed but not scalped. Allow time for hair to grow for two weeks before the wedding
day.
Bridesmaids dresses:
The trend recently has been toward the bridesmaids wearing different dresses but with
a unifying link: same style but different colors or same material and varying lengths.
This is a great idea as no individual is a mirror image of their counterpart. However you
may have already decided on the one ideal dress for your bridesmaids but if you want
everyone to be happy you must include their preferences and you will be surprised how
important it is to get this right. On paper the designs look great. You have decided on a
color and fabric. But unfortunately this is only a small part of it. There are several
questions which you need answers to if you want a stress free wedding. It is the bride’s
special day but the bridesmaids too are on display and they need to feel happy and
comfortable and they are spending their own money for this dress it would be nice if it
could be enjoyed for more than just the one occasion. This means that if their dress has
a plunging neckline, that it is short exposing large feet or skinny legs, that the fabric is
too figure hugging or too fussy and frilly that your bridesmaids may feel awkward and
uncomfortable. Of course you cannot please all of the people all of the time but with a
little consideration you may be able to avoid some major personal hang-ups.
Groomsmen: As with the Bridesmaids allow your groomsmen some individuality.
Matching suits or Tuxedos are okay but avoid matching everything else. Do you really
want them looking like sets of identical twins?
Flower girl and Page Boy / Ring Bearer
Do not leave it until the rehearsal to go through the roles of the flower girl and ring
bearer / page boy. Ask their parents to discuss the wedding with them and rehearse
regularly before the big day. They are already going to be nervous when they arrive at the
ceremony but if they are well rehearsed then they may manage to get through on
automatic pilot. However there is a very good chance that your carefully chosen darlings
will not perform as planned especially if they are under five years of age. The very best
way to deal with this is to accept it and enjoy the fact that this is part of the fabric of your
wedding and any little surprises, will in retrospect, make those special memories.
Gifts for the wedding party: Give some dedicated consideration towards your personal
gifts. Show that you appreciate their time and support by giving a gift that you know they
will be happy to receive. It does not have to be a traditional gift but please make it
something special. A personalised gift is a great choice, an inscription on a lovely piece
of jewelry for your bridesmaids, or their name and date of wedding embroidered on
beautiful lace hankies or a wonderful quality monogrammed bath robe.
For the groomsmen consider engraved cuff links, silver hip flask or decanter for your
groomsmen.
For you flower girl again jewelry is always acceptable: a silver bracelet or locket or a
jewelry box.
For your page boy / ring bearer: an engraved piggy bank, an engraved bicycle
identification tag or silver yoyo. If he loves baseball have a baseball bat engraved.
Parents: When it comes to your parents it is of course especially important to think of a
thoughtful gift an engraved silver photo frame, crystal decanter or clock would be lovely
but also, more than anything else, to let them know how much you love them and
appreciate them. Take time to sit down before your wedding and write a letter. Share
your thoughts and special memories with them. They will know that during this very
hectic period they held a special place in your heart and, although you were very busy,
that it was of paramount importance to afford the time to verbalise your love and
appreciation. They will treasure this forever and prize it above any material gift.
Registry:
Be realistic in your choice of items. Not everyone has a nest egg set aside to buy a
wedding present. Silver ice cream scoops are very nice but not really necessary.
Choose a couple of great stores which offer a comprehensive selection so that you
cover both ends of the economic spectrum. Check your lists periodically as stores
update and sometimes remove items from stock which you particularly wanted. This
then will give you the opportunity to choose an alternative. Also you may wish to consider
asking guests for a donation to a favorite charity.
Photographer, Videographer, D.J., Master of Ceremonies, Band, Group, Wedding
Singer:
The rule for choosing any one of these is to check recommendations. Ask for
references. Ask trusted friends and relatives if they have been to a wedding and seen or
heard their work. Double check what exactly they offer within their fee. Are there any
extras? and if so are they reasonable? One important recommendation and applies
basically to anything and everything: Never assume. Have you heard the saying that to
assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'? It is very true. Make a list of what you expect
and double check that the service offered includes everything. Once you have made your
choices double check the contract and reserve your date as soon as possible.
Reception:
Double check the reception seating arrangement. This can avoid several potential
problems. After numerous changes we thought that everything was sorted out only to
find at the reception that two sets of guests enjoyed the same first names and ‘quelle
horreur’ both parties were already happily seated at the ‘parent’s of the bride’ table. But
by this time we had learnt a valuable lesson nothing is, or probably should be, perfect.
The fantastic 3 tier cake was breathtaking but tilting slightly to the right.
My beautiful silk blouse with the stylish crossover design decided to gape open to such
an extent that when I sat down alone in my pew in the front row of the church I
inadvertently offered our priest considerably more than the usual monetary offering.
On double checking the limousines arrival schedule on the morning of the wedding we
discovered that they had confirmed the dates etc correctly but had actually booked us in
for the same time in February (the wedding was in October). Then this company with an
impeccable local reputation asked if we were sure of our dates!
And the icing on our particular cake was that our hitherto reliable Chrysler Town and
Country Limited mini van being used to escort my sister and her family for the day
arrived at the church and decided that it was not going anywhere else.
Notwithstanding all of the headaches the final result was a wonderful wedding. Our
daughter looked beautiful. The men exceptionally handsome. The music was lovely.
The food delicious. And we all danced for hours…. But still one final problem the
limousine arrived from the Gaylord Palms an hour early and for some inexplicable
reason departed and did not return. The glowing bride and groom, not wanting to alarm
or upset anyone, left the reception with all the expected pomp and circumstance to wait
in an inner room until we had all departed…. And so in the early hours a young bride
could be seen with her crinoline waving in the breeze as she sat in the back of an open
topped two seater sports car being escorted by their best man to their honeymoon suite.
Yes…. memories are made of this.
Apropos the recommendations: We could have avoided several problems by hiring a
wedding planner but we decided that we wanted to keep a finger on the pulse at all
times personally ourselves however sometimes you just need to relinquish the reins
and allow those who are professionals to do job they are trained to do. There will
always be unavoidable hiccups so the single most important factor is our final
recommendation. If a wedding is overshadowed by too many demanding expectations
then fate will dictate that it will fall short of your hopes and dreams. Try and avoid the
pitfalls but if you are reasonable and accept that problems are a fact of life, and
therefore of your wedding, then you will enjoy your day far better.
I hope that this information is of some assistance and that you can at least avoid our
mistakes.
We would love to hear from you about your own wedding day. Please email us your
hiccups, advice, problems and special memories.

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TOP TEN HONEYMOON
DESTINATIONS
1. Italy for pure romance
2. Hawaii for beaches & spectacular views
3. Tahiti the spectacular Polynesian jewel
4. Costa Rica is exciting and fascinating
5. Mexico for superior fine sandy beaches
6. France provides culture, scenery, &
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7. Maldives beckon if you love the beach &
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8. Anguilla satisfies a refined palate
9. Fiji the South Pacific gem of all colors
10. Greece where love of ancient & modern
blends



Our younger daughter Alex recently married her childhood sweetheart and it was, in the words of Martha Stewart, a beautiful thing.
A worry? Oh yes! Stressfull? Most definitely! There were discussions. There were last minute changes. There were problems and
arguments a plenty and of course there were things which we should have/could have done differently. We all know that hindsight is
20/20 so I thought that I would list and make some recommendations regarding topics which gave me personally a few more gray hairs
and the expense of some really deep wrinkle cream reliever.
Give yourself plenty of time:
This ought to be obvious give yourself time and plenty of it but for some strange reason, contrary to our lives in general, we thought we
had time-a-plenty. We did not. Even though the planning was months in the making hiccups still arose through not allowing sufficient
time for the upsets which always seem to occur no matter how carefully you plan. You may consider that a year in advance is too
advanced believe me it is not. Prepare a plan. Determine strategies as if you are going into battle. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But knowing
exactly the parameters is important and a little body armor would not go amiss. Have a get together at the very first opportunity and make
sure that everyone is on the same page. I had already checked out, albeit casually, several reception venues when we found out that Alex
wanted a ceremony on a beach as the sun was setting. After the first confused moment of: What? I accepted the fact that this was her
wedding and if that was what she wanted then we would do our very best to find the exact spot for her ideal wedding.
Explore reception venues incognito:
Now a beach wedding is a whole new kettle of fish. The beautiful gilt edged formal invitations which I had hoped may appeal to my young
daughter were now cast aside for the informal sunshine, sand and flip flop style. The initial thoughts on bridesmaid dresses had to be
immediately discarded as they were wholly unsuitable for a beach wedding. I could visualize them wilting like popsicles in the sun their
perfectly applied Mac make-up slowly melting as beads of perspiration developed on their foreheads. Then my thoughts quickly and
selfishly turned to me. What on earth would I be able to wear, to still look as smart as I’d hoped, with sand finding a way into my shoes
and my new chic hairstyle, which was going to take at least 5 years off my age, now sticking to my head? It was important to remain
supportive and keep smiling so I squashed my misgivings and enthusiastically arranged for us to travel 70 miles to the closest venue
which was at the top my daughter’s short list.
Mariah Carey's
beautiful Vera Wang
wedding dress and
Star Jones' Reem Acra
wedding dress: both
trains were 27ft long
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