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Tuxedos, Gowns,
Bridesmaids Dresses
Cakes, Flowers,
Gifts,Venues,Favors
Bridesmaids Dresses
Cakes, Flowers,
Gifts,Venues,Favors
| Wedding Article: Wedding advice from a mother's perspective Top Honeymoon Destinations Diamonds are Forever |
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TOP TEN HONEYMOON
DESTINATIONS
1. Italy for pure romance
2. Hawaii for beaches & spectacular
views
3. Tahiti the spectacular Polynesian
jewel
4. Costa Rica is exciting and
fascinating
5. Mexico for superior fine sandy
beaches
6. France provides culture, scenery, &
gourmet food
7. Maldives beckon if you love the
beach & it's sports
8. Anguilla satisfies a refined palate
9. Fiji the South Pacific gem of all
colors
10. Greece where love of ancient &
modern blends
DESTINATIONS
1. Italy for pure romance
2. Hawaii for beaches & spectacular
views
3. Tahiti the spectacular Polynesian
jewel
4. Costa Rica is exciting and
fascinating
5. Mexico for superior fine sandy
beaches
6. France provides culture, scenery, &
gourmet food
7. Maldives beckon if you love the
beach & it's sports
8. Anguilla satisfies a refined palate
9. Fiji the South Pacific gem of all
colors
10. Greece where love of ancient &
modern blends
When our younger daughter Alex married her childhood sweetheart it was, in the words of Martha Stewart, a
beautiful thing. A worry? Oh yes! Stressfull? Most definitely! There were discussions. There were last minute
changes. There were problems and arguments a plenty and of course there were things which we should have/could
have done differently. We all know that hindsight is 20/20 so I thought that I would list and make some
recommendations regarding topics which gave me personally a few more gray hairs and the expense of some, really
deep, wrinkle cream reliever.
Give yourself plenty of time:
It ought to be obvious... give yourself time and plenty of it but for some strange reason, contrary to our lives in
general, we thought we had time-a-plenty. We did not. Even though the planning was months in the making hiccups
still arose as we did not allow sufficient time for the upsets which always seem to occur no matter how carefully you
plan. You may consider that a year in advance is too advanced - believe me it is not. Prepare a plan. Determine
strategies as if you are going into battle. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But knowing exactly the parameters is important and
a little body armor would not go amiss. Have a get together at the very first opportunity and make sure that everyone
is on the same page. I had already checked out, albeit casually, several reception venues when we found out that
Alex wanted a ceremony on a beach as the sun was setting. After the first confused moment of: What? I accepted
the fact that this was her wedding and if that was what she wanted then we would do our very best to find the exact
spot for her ideal wedding.
Explore reception venues incognito:
Now a beach wedding is a whole new kettle of fish. The beautiful gilt edged formal invitations which I had hoped may
appeal to my young daughter were now cast aside for the informal sunshine, sand and flip flop style. The initial
thoughts on bridesmaid dresses had to be immediately discarded as they were wholly unsuitable for a beach
wedding. I could visualize the bridesmaids wilting like popsicles in the sun, their perfectly applied Mac make-up
slowly melting, as beads of perspiration developed on their foreheads. Then my thoughts quickly and selfishly turned
to me. What on earth would I be able to wear, to still look as smart as I’d hoped, with sand finding a way into my
shoes and my new chic hairstyle, which was going to take at least 5 years off my age, now sticking to my head? It
was important to remain supportive and keep smiling so I squashed my misgivings and enthusiastically arranged for
us to travel 70 miles to the closest venue which was at the top my daughter’s short list.
Although we had contacted the restaurant and discussed menus, the gazebo on the beach etc. we wanted the
opportunity to appraise the venue at leisure so we decided not to identify ourselves when we arrived. This was
actually a very good idea as the service was unfortunately rather less than perfect, the staff was sullen and
unhelpful, then we waited ages for dinner and when it arrived the fish was dry and the entire meal a complete
disappointment. It did serve one important purpose however as Alex re-assessed the entire idea. She said that on
considering the drawbacks, including the major one should we encounter bad weather, then the whole concept of
her ceremony in the setting sun would be ruined, she decided against the beach wedding. I must admit to a deep
sigh of relief. Therefore choose your reception venue early and check it out incognito before making a final decision.
Venues: If you know your neighbourhood then you will probably be aware of your ideal choice and no doubt it is based
on personal experience or recommendations.
Have your check list ready. Go through every aspect of the reception.
Where will you greet your guests?
Will you be serving cocktails?
What type of bar are you offering and how will it be managed?
Where will the gift table and wedding cake table be located?
Can you change menus to personal preferences?
Is it possible to provide your own candies (if desired)?
How/when is the toast to the bridal couple?
Is there a dance floor and is it an additional charge?
Is the cake cutting and distributing included or an extra charge?
.....And a couple of very important questions:
Will yours be the only wedding on that day?
If not is yours the only wedding in that particular room/part of the hotel etc?
Do they book back to back weddings?
This is never a good idea you do not want to feel hurried or that your wedding is on a conveyor belt.
Do they allow confetti, balloons, bubbles, rice etc?
We finally found our ideal location,........ The Celebration Golf Club. The rooms were charming but not too large, the
choice of menus fabulous, there was a wonderful garden with Gazebo and an absolutely picturesque location for
additional photos. And most importantly the Wedding director/planner Ann Marie went above and beyond to ensure
that everything was just perfect. We were not just another name on a schedule.
Decide and book well in advance where you will exchange your vows:
It is advisable to decide well in advance where you want to exchange vows. As Alex’s first choice was a beach
wedding it was, at the initial discussion stage, a mute point. After the beach location was discarded we spent several
weeks checking out local hotels, resorts and restaurants with beautiful gardens and gazebos. Then one evening I
received a phone call from Alex stating that she had a surprise and that she and her fiancé Brandon had decided to
get married in church. This was wonderful news as I am Roman Catholic and although we never wanted to impress
on our children our own beliefs it made me so much happier. However the next problem was actually obtaining the
blessing of the church. There’s a movie called ‘License to Wed’ and although there are exaggerations and a certain
amount of poetic license within the film we could certainly relate to several pertinent points. One huge potential
headache is that a young couple may not obtain the church’s blessing, may not get married in the church and may not
even schedule a date until they have passed all of the tests and conformed to the necessary prerequisites. This
actually meant that it was necessary to reschedule the date (and change the venue of the reception which had by
then been decided on and tenuously booked) no not because they did not meet the requirements, but because our
head priest was on a retreat for a couple of months and the locum priest was not in a position to confirm any
appointments. When he returned we were informed that there was only one Saturday still available within the period
we had planned for and the only time slot was mid day. Not an ideal choice.
Book flowers in plenty of time:
Fourth recommendation is book flowers in plenty of time. Alex is not a lover of flowers and it just was one of those
things which we kept placing on the back burner and it stayed there until it literally exploded into flames. She decided
that she wanted something very simple’ roses, stems cut short, hand tied. We scoured the Internet, shops, and
magazines but could not find exactly what she wanted. She could visualize them and they were beautiful and simply
made. So simply made that yes we made a grave error. Why not make them ourselves? I will now give you the very
best piece of advice: Do not do this. Do not contemplate doing this and immediately erase such thoughts. I could
spend the next 30 minutes explaining why this was such a bad idea but suffice to say that, after adhering to some
incorrect advise, we stored our abundance of perfect ivory and soft pink roses in refrigerators and at 3am on the
morning of the wedding I discovered that our beautiful roses had frozen. Even now it makes me so sad to remember
those damaged brown edged blooms and the complete rising panic... so I will quickly move on.
Choose wedding dress and veil style with care:
Fifth recommendation is choose the wedding dress wisely. Simple classic lines will always look wonderful and will
not date. I remember those enormous leg of mutton sleeves and over the top embellishments. We thought that we
looked so cool but now that fashion curve looks almost comical.
If you must have that dreamy long sleeved heavy creation then choose a winter wedding or venues with excellent air
conditioning. If your weight is prone to change with the seasons, time of month, or your state of mind then consider
one of the excellent dresses with the corset style back. Alex’s weight during this stressful year was completely
variable and by choosing this design she avoided at least two drastic dress alterations. Also, if your dress has a train,
consider adding a bustle to the dress. It makes it so much easier after the ceremony to manage if the cascades of
fabric can be neatly arranged and hooked up onto the back.
Compare prices on your dress. If funds are low shop around. Maybe consider a gently used wedding dress which has
been professionally cleaned. Brides usually only wear them a matter of a few hours and it is generally impossible to
tell that it is not brand new. Or it is possible to buy the latest designer styles at a lower cost. They may not be top
shelf fabric but it is possible to buy a beautiful dress in your preferred style within your budget. You can also contact
a designer direct and ask if they will be having an end of season or sample sale.
It is very important from whom you actually purchase the dress if you buy locally.
We were very lucky to have the wonderful assistance of Carolyn Allen's Bridals. Sue and Katherine (Kat) even came
to our home the evening before the wedding to steam out any last minute wrinkles. Sue also saved the day regarding
Alex's chosen dream dress. When the wedding was finally accepted by our church we discovered that a strapless
dress was not acceptable however Sue made a removable set of spaghetti straps which solved the problem. They
matched the dress perfectly and no-one knew that they were a last minute extra. Sue and Kat were absolutely
wonderful and it made a great difference to have their professional help, support and expertise.
Hair and Veil:
Contrary to popular belief there is not an unwritten law making it compulsory to wear your hair in an updo on your
wedding day so if you feel more comfortable leave your hair down. Months prior to your wedding get into a routine of
massaging your scalp and conditioning your hair so that it has a healthy shine by the big day. If you are looking for a
really fine updo look at the celebrities at the Oscars and Grammy award ceremonies. A simple unstructured hairstyle
such as a chignon looks great. Discuss your preferred style with your hairdresser. Once you have decided on one
check how you will actually wear your veil with this style. Take it with you on your trial run and ascertain that
everything ‘sits’ comfortably and attractively.
Regarding your veil: shorter veils are easier to manage but if you have set your heart on a long one either remove it at
the reception, exchange it for a shorter one or choose a style where the lower half can be removed. One or two tiers
is more elegant and certainly looks more attractive that a thick white mesh swathing around your face.
Have at least one complete dress rehearsal with the dress, underwear, hair, veil, shoes, jewelry and makeup. Do not
take anything for granted your new bra may catch like crazy or the support may not be good enough for a really sleek
profile. So... Check, check and double check.
Tiaras: These are not as fashionable as they were and the trend, if you wish to wear one, is more towards a simple
uncluttered design. Think more young princess than overdressed queen.
Shoes:
You can suffer a tight corset and heavy weight wedding dress but please do not compromise with your feet: wear
comfortable shoes. This does not mean trainers or your old gym shoes but consider smaller heals with a good sole
base for stability and comfort. Check out the new cool in-soles. If you have purchased those beautiful, hand
embroidered silk, high heeled masterpieces then wear them around the house. Break them in well in advance of the
wedding day. Then, when you are posing for your photos, instead of dwelling on the pain in your feet you can
concentrate on smiling for the camera.
Makeup, nails etc:
There are some absolutely great shades available but do not experiment on your wedding day. Neutral shades, pale
pinks and peaches look classically beautiful. Splashes of deep red lipstick and bright blue eye shadow should be
avoided as they do not look smart or sophisticated. An Andy Warhol palate is fine on a hen night but a bride in white
or ivory looks so much prettier with soft muted colors.
The same advice relates to nails. Avoid the bright hard colors. A pedicure and manicure in matching natural, soft pink
or peach is definitely the most suitable. If you want to dress up your nails think about adding a couple of Swarovski
crystals.
Body:
Months before your wedding start to look after your body. Treat yourself to a spa treatment. De-foliate and pamper
yourself regularly with a really good body cream or lotion. Take extra care around heals, elbows and décolletage.
Exercise and eat healthy veggies and fruit. Nothing is nicer than a beautiful healthy glow. Fake tans are not necessary
and orange and unnaturally colored brown skin does nothing to enhance your wedding 'look'. If you wish to even out
skin tone then why not try a lightly tinted body cream moisturizer. Dove has a nice one which, if you are fair skinned is
really good, you can build a light tan over a week or two and as it slowly develops you can add/decrease in uneven
areas.
Book a facial at least the week before your wedding to allow your skin to settle down from the less than attractive red
blotch look.
Tattoos: Many brides decide to cover up a tattoo on their wedding day and there are some great products out there
but several make-up artists recommend that you do not cover these as most types of concealers will, over the
course of the day, rub off leaving you with smudges which could ruin your dress or veil. Experiment to see what
works for you.
Purse: Ask a relative or friend to keep your small purse handy with immediate necessities, deodorant, tissues,
lipstick, lip balm, makeup, money, mirror,comb etc. perfume or cologne, sanitary products, Breath mints/spray,
Emergency pack: Ask a trusted family member to make up an emergency pack and to keep it handy. Include safety
pins, small scissors, clear/skin tone bandages / plasters, needle and thread, tweezers, bottle of water, mints, baby
wipes, spare tights / stockings, chalk for any scuff marks on dress, hem tape, hair pins, headache tablets, diarrhea
tablets/mixture, antiseptic etc., hairspray, ear ring backs, nail file, tissues, matches or lighter and change of shoes.
Also give some thought to items which are personal to you and your groom. Cover any potential problems with
allergies don't forget your antihistamine, inhaler or Epinephrine etc. If you wear eye contacts or glasses make sure
that you have spares available, cleaning pads, eye contact cleaning solution etc.
Groom:
Tuxedos are smart but it is expensive to hire the entire ensemble. Some Tuxedo rental companies do not charge the
groom for his outfit if their groomsmen hire from them. However why not consider purchasing a Tuxedo or new suit
for the wedding? My husband purchased a Designer Tuxedo for little more than the cost of the rental and now when
we cruise he has a superb Tux to wear which is his own.
It is just as fashionable these days to wear a smart suit whether it is light or dark. If your groom and groomsmen
prefer to rent firstly choose a hire company with numerous locations so that out of towners can be professionally
measured by their local division and make sure that they do this at least a couple of months before the wedding date.
Decide on a definite style there are so many to choose from. Once the groom has chosen his preferred suit/Tuxedo
the hire shop will keep on file all of the selected information which can be accessed by the different branch locations.
Remember to return the suits within the specified date to avoid penalty charges.
Hair: The groom and the male members of the wedding party should not wait till the day before the wedding to have a
hair cut. Your groom needs to look smart and well groomed but not scalped. Allow time for hair to grow for two
weeks before the wedding day.
Bridesmaids dresses:
The trend recently has been toward the bridesmaids wearing different dresses but with a unifying link: same style
but different colors or same material and varying lengths. This is a great idea as no individual is a mirror image of
their counterpart. However you may have already decided on the one ideal dress for your bridesmaids but if you want
everyone to be happy you must include their preferences and you will be surprised how important it is to get this
right. On paper the designs look great. You have decided on a color and fabric. But unfortunately this is only a small
part of it. There are several questions to which you need answers if you want a stress free wedding. Yes it is the
bride’s special day but the bridesmaids too are on display and they need to feel happy and comfortable. They are
spending their own money for this dress so it would be nice if it could be enjoyed for more than just the one occasion.
This means that if the dress has a plunging neckline, if it's short exposing large feet or skinny legs or maybe the
fabric is too figure hugging or too fussy and frilly, your bridesmaids may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Of course
you cannot please all of the people all of the time but with a little consideration you may be able to avoid some major
personal hang-ups.
Groomsmen: As with the Bridesmaids allow your groomsmen some individuality. Matching suits or Tuxedos are okay
but avoid matching everything else. Do you really want them looking like sets of identical twins?
Flower girl and Page Boy / Ring Bearer
Do not leave it until the rehearsal to go through the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer / page boy. Ask their
parents to discuss the wedding with them and rehearse regularly before the big day. They are already going to be
nervous when they arrive at the ceremony but if they are well rehearsed then they may manage to get through on
automatic pilot. However there is a very good chance that your carefully chosen darlings will not perform as planned
especially if they are under five years of age. The very best way to deal with this is to accept it and enjoy the fact that
this is part of the fabric of your wedding and any little surprises, will in retrospect, make those special memories.
Gifts for the wedding party: Give some dedicated consideration towards your personal gifts. Show that you
appreciate their time and support by giving a gift that you know they will be happy to receive. It does not have to be a
traditional gift but please make it something special. A personalised gift is a great choice, an inscription on a lovely
piece of jewelry for your bridesmaids, or their name and date of wedding embroidered on beautiful lace hankies or a
wonderful quality monogrammed bath robe.
For the groomsmen consider engraved cuff links, silver hip flask or decanter.
For your flower girl again jewelry is always acceptable: a silver bracelet or locket or a jewelry box.
For your page boy / ring bearer: an engraved piggy bank, an engraved bicycle identification tag or silver yoyo. If he
loves baseball have a baseball bat engraved.
Parents: When it comes to your parents it is of course especially important to think of a thoughtful gift, an engraved
silver photo frame, crystal decanter or clock would be lovely but also, more than anything else, to let them know how
much you love them and appreciate them. Take time to sit down before your wedding and write a letter. Share your
thoughts and special memories with them. They will know that during this very hectic period they held a special place
in your heart and, although you were very busy, that it was of paramount importance to afford the time to verbalise
your love and appreciation. They will treasure this forever and prize it above any material gift.
Registry:
Be realistic in your choice of items. Not everyone has a nest egg set aside to buy a wedding present. Silver ice cream
scoops are very nice but not really necessary. Choose a couple of great stores which offer a comprehensive
selection so that you cover both ends of the economic spectrum. Check your lists periodically as stores update and
sometimes remove items from stock which you particularly wanted. This then will give you the opportunity to choose
an alternative. Also you may wish to consider asking guests for a donation to a favorite charity.
Photographer, Videographer, D.J., Master of Ceremonies, Band, Group, Wedding Singer:
The rule for choosing any one of these is to check recommendations. Ask for references. Ask trusted friends and
relatives if they have been to a wedding and seen or heard their work. Double check what exactly they offer within
their fee. Are there any extras? and if so, are they reasonable? One important recommendation and it applies
basically to anything and everything: Never assume. Have you heard the saying that to assume makes an 'ass' out of
'u' and 'me'? It is very true. Make a list of what you expect and double check that the service offered includes
everything. Once you have made your choices double check the contract and reserve your date as soon as possible.
Reception:
Double check the reception seating arrangement. This can avoid several potential problems. After numerous
changes we thought that everything was sorted out only to find at the reception that two sets of guests enjoyed the
same first names and ‘quelle horreur’ both parties were already happily seated at the ‘parent’s of the bride’ table.
Rather than embarrass the 'extra' couple we just sat at another table as, by this time, we had learnt a valuable
lesson: nothing is, or probably should be, perfect.....
The fantastic 3 tier cake was breathtaking but tilting slightly to the right.
My beautiful silk blouse with the stylish crossover design decided to gape open to such an extent that when I sat
down alone in my pew in the front row of the church I inadvertently offered our priest considerably more than the
usual monetary offering.
On double checking the limousines arrival schedule on the morning of the wedding we discovered that they had
confirmed the dates etc correctly but had actually booked us in for the same time in February (the wedding was in
October). Then this company with an impeccable local reputation asked if we were sure of our dates!
And the icing on our particular cake was that our hitherto reliable Chrysler Town and Country Limited mini van, being
used to escort my sister and her family for the day, arrived at the church and decided that it was not going anywhere
else.
Notwithstanding all of the headaches the final result was a wonderful wedding. Our daughter looked beautiful. The
men exceptionally handsome. The music was lovely. The food delicious. And we all danced for hours…. But still one
final problem: The limousine arrived from the Gaylord Palms an hour early and for some inexplicable reason
departed and did not return. The glowing bride and groom, not wanting to alarm or upset anyone, left the reception
with all the expected pomp and circumstance to wait in an inner room until we had all departed…. And so in the early
hours a young bride could be seen with her crinoline waving in the breeze as she sat in the back of an open topped
two seater sports car being escorted by their best man to their honeymoon suite. Yes…. memories are made of this.
Apropos the recommendations: We could have avoided several problems by hiring a wedding planner but we decided
that we wanted to keep a finger on the pulse at all times however sometimes you just need to relinquish the reins and
allow those who are professionals to do job they are trained to do. There will always be unavoidable hiccups so the
single most important factor is our final recommendation. If a wedding is overshadowed by too many demanding
expectations then fate will dictate that it will fall short of your hopes and dreams. Try and avoid the pitfalls but if you
are reasonable and accept that problems are a fact of life, and therefore of your wedding, then you will enjoy your
day far better.
I hope that this information is of some assistance and that you can at least avoid our mistakes.
We would love to hear from you about your own wedding day. Please email us your hiccups, advice, problems and
special memories.
beautiful thing. A worry? Oh yes! Stressfull? Most definitely! There were discussions. There were last minute
changes. There were problems and arguments a plenty and of course there were things which we should have/could
have done differently. We all know that hindsight is 20/20 so I thought that I would list and make some
recommendations regarding topics which gave me personally a few more gray hairs and the expense of some, really
deep, wrinkle cream reliever.
Give yourself plenty of time:
It ought to be obvious... give yourself time and plenty of it but for some strange reason, contrary to our lives in
general, we thought we had time-a-plenty. We did not. Even though the planning was months in the making hiccups
still arose as we did not allow sufficient time for the upsets which always seem to occur no matter how carefully you
plan. You may consider that a year in advance is too advanced - believe me it is not. Prepare a plan. Determine
strategies as if you are going into battle. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But knowing exactly the parameters is important and
a little body armor would not go amiss. Have a get together at the very first opportunity and make sure that everyone
is on the same page. I had already checked out, albeit casually, several reception venues when we found out that
Alex wanted a ceremony on a beach as the sun was setting. After the first confused moment of: What? I accepted
the fact that this was her wedding and if that was what she wanted then we would do our very best to find the exact
spot for her ideal wedding.
Explore reception venues incognito:
Now a beach wedding is a whole new kettle of fish. The beautiful gilt edged formal invitations which I had hoped may
appeal to my young daughter were now cast aside for the informal sunshine, sand and flip flop style. The initial
thoughts on bridesmaid dresses had to be immediately discarded as they were wholly unsuitable for a beach
wedding. I could visualize the bridesmaids wilting like popsicles in the sun, their perfectly applied Mac make-up
slowly melting, as beads of perspiration developed on their foreheads. Then my thoughts quickly and selfishly turned
to me. What on earth would I be able to wear, to still look as smart as I’d hoped, with sand finding a way into my
shoes and my new chic hairstyle, which was going to take at least 5 years off my age, now sticking to my head? It
was important to remain supportive and keep smiling so I squashed my misgivings and enthusiastically arranged for
us to travel 70 miles to the closest venue which was at the top my daughter’s short list.
Although we had contacted the restaurant and discussed menus, the gazebo on the beach etc. we wanted the
opportunity to appraise the venue at leisure so we decided not to identify ourselves when we arrived. This was
actually a very good idea as the service was unfortunately rather less than perfect, the staff was sullen and
unhelpful, then we waited ages for dinner and when it arrived the fish was dry and the entire meal a complete
disappointment. It did serve one important purpose however as Alex re-assessed the entire idea. She said that on
considering the drawbacks, including the major one should we encounter bad weather, then the whole concept of
her ceremony in the setting sun would be ruined, she decided against the beach wedding. I must admit to a deep
sigh of relief. Therefore choose your reception venue early and check it out incognito before making a final decision.
Venues: If you know your neighbourhood then you will probably be aware of your ideal choice and no doubt it is based
on personal experience or recommendations.
Have your check list ready. Go through every aspect of the reception.
Where will you greet your guests?
Will you be serving cocktails?
What type of bar are you offering and how will it be managed?
Where will the gift table and wedding cake table be located?
Can you change menus to personal preferences?
Is it possible to provide your own candies (if desired)?
How/when is the toast to the bridal couple?
Is there a dance floor and is it an additional charge?
Is the cake cutting and distributing included or an extra charge?
.....And a couple of very important questions:
Will yours be the only wedding on that day?
If not is yours the only wedding in that particular room/part of the hotel etc?
Do they book back to back weddings?
This is never a good idea you do not want to feel hurried or that your wedding is on a conveyor belt.
Do they allow confetti, balloons, bubbles, rice etc?
We finally found our ideal location,........ The Celebration Golf Club. The rooms were charming but not too large, the
choice of menus fabulous, there was a wonderful garden with Gazebo and an absolutely picturesque location for
additional photos. And most importantly the Wedding director/planner Ann Marie went above and beyond to ensure
that everything was just perfect. We were not just another name on a schedule.
Decide and book well in advance where you will exchange your vows:
It is advisable to decide well in advance where you want to exchange vows. As Alex’s first choice was a beach
wedding it was, at the initial discussion stage, a mute point. After the beach location was discarded we spent several
weeks checking out local hotels, resorts and restaurants with beautiful gardens and gazebos. Then one evening I
received a phone call from Alex stating that she had a surprise and that she and her fiancé Brandon had decided to
get married in church. This was wonderful news as I am Roman Catholic and although we never wanted to impress
on our children our own beliefs it made me so much happier. However the next problem was actually obtaining the
blessing of the church. There’s a movie called ‘License to Wed’ and although there are exaggerations and a certain
amount of poetic license within the film we could certainly relate to several pertinent points. One huge potential
headache is that a young couple may not obtain the church’s blessing, may not get married in the church and may not
even schedule a date until they have passed all of the tests and conformed to the necessary prerequisites. This
actually meant that it was necessary to reschedule the date (and change the venue of the reception which had by
then been decided on and tenuously booked) no not because they did not meet the requirements, but because our
head priest was on a retreat for a couple of months and the locum priest was not in a position to confirm any
appointments. When he returned we were informed that there was only one Saturday still available within the period
we had planned for and the only time slot was mid day. Not an ideal choice.
Book flowers in plenty of time:
Fourth recommendation is book flowers in plenty of time. Alex is not a lover of flowers and it just was one of those
things which we kept placing on the back burner and it stayed there until it literally exploded into flames. She decided
that she wanted something very simple’ roses, stems cut short, hand tied. We scoured the Internet, shops, and
magazines but could not find exactly what she wanted. She could visualize them and they were beautiful and simply
made. So simply made that yes we made a grave error. Why not make them ourselves? I will now give you the very
best piece of advice: Do not do this. Do not contemplate doing this and immediately erase such thoughts. I could
spend the next 30 minutes explaining why this was such a bad idea but suffice to say that, after adhering to some
incorrect advise, we stored our abundance of perfect ivory and soft pink roses in refrigerators and at 3am on the
morning of the wedding I discovered that our beautiful roses had frozen. Even now it makes me so sad to remember
those damaged brown edged blooms and the complete rising panic... so I will quickly move on.
Choose wedding dress and veil style with care:
Fifth recommendation is choose the wedding dress wisely. Simple classic lines will always look wonderful and will
not date. I remember those enormous leg of mutton sleeves and over the top embellishments. We thought that we
looked so cool but now that fashion curve looks almost comical.
If you must have that dreamy long sleeved heavy creation then choose a winter wedding or venues with excellent air
conditioning. If your weight is prone to change with the seasons, time of month, or your state of mind then consider
one of the excellent dresses with the corset style back. Alex’s weight during this stressful year was completely
variable and by choosing this design she avoided at least two drastic dress alterations. Also, if your dress has a train,
consider adding a bustle to the dress. It makes it so much easier after the ceremony to manage if the cascades of
fabric can be neatly arranged and hooked up onto the back.
Compare prices on your dress. If funds are low shop around. Maybe consider a gently used wedding dress which has
been professionally cleaned. Brides usually only wear them a matter of a few hours and it is generally impossible to
tell that it is not brand new. Or it is possible to buy the latest designer styles at a lower cost. They may not be top
shelf fabric but it is possible to buy a beautiful dress in your preferred style within your budget. You can also contact
a designer direct and ask if they will be having an end of season or sample sale.
It is very important from whom you actually purchase the dress if you buy locally.
We were very lucky to have the wonderful assistance of Carolyn Allen's Bridals. Sue and Katherine (Kat) even came
to our home the evening before the wedding to steam out any last minute wrinkles. Sue also saved the day regarding
Alex's chosen dream dress. When the wedding was finally accepted by our church we discovered that a strapless
dress was not acceptable however Sue made a removable set of spaghetti straps which solved the problem. They
matched the dress perfectly and no-one knew that they were a last minute extra. Sue and Kat were absolutely
wonderful and it made a great difference to have their professional help, support and expertise.
Hair and Veil:
Contrary to popular belief there is not an unwritten law making it compulsory to wear your hair in an updo on your
wedding day so if you feel more comfortable leave your hair down. Months prior to your wedding get into a routine of
massaging your scalp and conditioning your hair so that it has a healthy shine by the big day. If you are looking for a
really fine updo look at the celebrities at the Oscars and Grammy award ceremonies. A simple unstructured hairstyle
such as a chignon looks great. Discuss your preferred style with your hairdresser. Once you have decided on one
check how you will actually wear your veil with this style. Take it with you on your trial run and ascertain that
everything ‘sits’ comfortably and attractively.
Regarding your veil: shorter veils are easier to manage but if you have set your heart on a long one either remove it at
the reception, exchange it for a shorter one or choose a style where the lower half can be removed. One or two tiers
is more elegant and certainly looks more attractive that a thick white mesh swathing around your face.
Have at least one complete dress rehearsal with the dress, underwear, hair, veil, shoes, jewelry and makeup. Do not
take anything for granted your new bra may catch like crazy or the support may not be good enough for a really sleek
profile. So... Check, check and double check.
Tiaras: These are not as fashionable as they were and the trend, if you wish to wear one, is more towards a simple
uncluttered design. Think more young princess than overdressed queen.
Shoes:
You can suffer a tight corset and heavy weight wedding dress but please do not compromise with your feet: wear
comfortable shoes. This does not mean trainers or your old gym shoes but consider smaller heals with a good sole
base for stability and comfort. Check out the new cool in-soles. If you have purchased those beautiful, hand
embroidered silk, high heeled masterpieces then wear them around the house. Break them in well in advance of the
wedding day. Then, when you are posing for your photos, instead of dwelling on the pain in your feet you can
concentrate on smiling for the camera.
Makeup, nails etc:
There are some absolutely great shades available but do not experiment on your wedding day. Neutral shades, pale
pinks and peaches look classically beautiful. Splashes of deep red lipstick and bright blue eye shadow should be
avoided as they do not look smart or sophisticated. An Andy Warhol palate is fine on a hen night but a bride in white
or ivory looks so much prettier with soft muted colors.
The same advice relates to nails. Avoid the bright hard colors. A pedicure and manicure in matching natural, soft pink
or peach is definitely the most suitable. If you want to dress up your nails think about adding a couple of Swarovski
crystals.
Body:
Months before your wedding start to look after your body. Treat yourself to a spa treatment. De-foliate and pamper
yourself regularly with a really good body cream or lotion. Take extra care around heals, elbows and décolletage.
Exercise and eat healthy veggies and fruit. Nothing is nicer than a beautiful healthy glow. Fake tans are not necessary
and orange and unnaturally colored brown skin does nothing to enhance your wedding 'look'. If you wish to even out
skin tone then why not try a lightly tinted body cream moisturizer. Dove has a nice one which, if you are fair skinned is
really good, you can build a light tan over a week or two and as it slowly develops you can add/decrease in uneven
areas.
Book a facial at least the week before your wedding to allow your skin to settle down from the less than attractive red
blotch look.
Tattoos: Many brides decide to cover up a tattoo on their wedding day and there are some great products out there
but several make-up artists recommend that you do not cover these as most types of concealers will, over the
course of the day, rub off leaving you with smudges which could ruin your dress or veil. Experiment to see what
works for you.
Purse: Ask a relative or friend to keep your small purse handy with immediate necessities, deodorant, tissues,
lipstick, lip balm, makeup, money, mirror,comb etc. perfume or cologne, sanitary products, Breath mints/spray,
Emergency pack: Ask a trusted family member to make up an emergency pack and to keep it handy. Include safety
pins, small scissors, clear/skin tone bandages / plasters, needle and thread, tweezers, bottle of water, mints, baby
wipes, spare tights / stockings, chalk for any scuff marks on dress, hem tape, hair pins, headache tablets, diarrhea
tablets/mixture, antiseptic etc., hairspray, ear ring backs, nail file, tissues, matches or lighter and change of shoes.
Also give some thought to items which are personal to you and your groom. Cover any potential problems with
allergies don't forget your antihistamine, inhaler or Epinephrine etc. If you wear eye contacts or glasses make sure
that you have spares available, cleaning pads, eye contact cleaning solution etc.
Groom:
Tuxedos are smart but it is expensive to hire the entire ensemble. Some Tuxedo rental companies do not charge the
groom for his outfit if their groomsmen hire from them. However why not consider purchasing a Tuxedo or new suit
for the wedding? My husband purchased a Designer Tuxedo for little more than the cost of the rental and now when
we cruise he has a superb Tux to wear which is his own.
It is just as fashionable these days to wear a smart suit whether it is light or dark. If your groom and groomsmen
prefer to rent firstly choose a hire company with numerous locations so that out of towners can be professionally
measured by their local division and make sure that they do this at least a couple of months before the wedding date.
Decide on a definite style there are so many to choose from. Once the groom has chosen his preferred suit/Tuxedo
the hire shop will keep on file all of the selected information which can be accessed by the different branch locations.
Remember to return the suits within the specified date to avoid penalty charges.
Hair: The groom and the male members of the wedding party should not wait till the day before the wedding to have a
hair cut. Your groom needs to look smart and well groomed but not scalped. Allow time for hair to grow for two
weeks before the wedding day.
Bridesmaids dresses:
The trend recently has been toward the bridesmaids wearing different dresses but with a unifying link: same style
but different colors or same material and varying lengths. This is a great idea as no individual is a mirror image of
their counterpart. However you may have already decided on the one ideal dress for your bridesmaids but if you want
everyone to be happy you must include their preferences and you will be surprised how important it is to get this
right. On paper the designs look great. You have decided on a color and fabric. But unfortunately this is only a small
part of it. There are several questions to which you need answers if you want a stress free wedding. Yes it is the
bride’s special day but the bridesmaids too are on display and they need to feel happy and comfortable. They are
spending their own money for this dress so it would be nice if it could be enjoyed for more than just the one occasion.
This means that if the dress has a plunging neckline, if it's short exposing large feet or skinny legs or maybe the
fabric is too figure hugging or too fussy and frilly, your bridesmaids may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Of course
you cannot please all of the people all of the time but with a little consideration you may be able to avoid some major
personal hang-ups.
Groomsmen: As with the Bridesmaids allow your groomsmen some individuality. Matching suits or Tuxedos are okay
but avoid matching everything else. Do you really want them looking like sets of identical twins?
Flower girl and Page Boy / Ring Bearer
Do not leave it until the rehearsal to go through the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer / page boy. Ask their
parents to discuss the wedding with them and rehearse regularly before the big day. They are already going to be
nervous when they arrive at the ceremony but if they are well rehearsed then they may manage to get through on
automatic pilot. However there is a very good chance that your carefully chosen darlings will not perform as planned
especially if they are under five years of age. The very best way to deal with this is to accept it and enjoy the fact that
this is part of the fabric of your wedding and any little surprises, will in retrospect, make those special memories.
Gifts for the wedding party: Give some dedicated consideration towards your personal gifts. Show that you
appreciate their time and support by giving a gift that you know they will be happy to receive. It does not have to be a
traditional gift but please make it something special. A personalised gift is a great choice, an inscription on a lovely
piece of jewelry for your bridesmaids, or their name and date of wedding embroidered on beautiful lace hankies or a
wonderful quality monogrammed bath robe.
For the groomsmen consider engraved cuff links, silver hip flask or decanter.
For your flower girl again jewelry is always acceptable: a silver bracelet or locket or a jewelry box.
For your page boy / ring bearer: an engraved piggy bank, an engraved bicycle identification tag or silver yoyo. If he
loves baseball have a baseball bat engraved.
Parents: When it comes to your parents it is of course especially important to think of a thoughtful gift, an engraved
silver photo frame, crystal decanter or clock would be lovely but also, more than anything else, to let them know how
much you love them and appreciate them. Take time to sit down before your wedding and write a letter. Share your
thoughts and special memories with them. They will know that during this very hectic period they held a special place
in your heart and, although you were very busy, that it was of paramount importance to afford the time to verbalise
your love and appreciation. They will treasure this forever and prize it above any material gift.
Registry:
Be realistic in your choice of items. Not everyone has a nest egg set aside to buy a wedding present. Silver ice cream
scoops are very nice but not really necessary. Choose a couple of great stores which offer a comprehensive
selection so that you cover both ends of the economic spectrum. Check your lists periodically as stores update and
sometimes remove items from stock which you particularly wanted. This then will give you the opportunity to choose
an alternative. Also you may wish to consider asking guests for a donation to a favorite charity.
Photographer, Videographer, D.J., Master of Ceremonies, Band, Group, Wedding Singer:
The rule for choosing any one of these is to check recommendations. Ask for references. Ask trusted friends and
relatives if they have been to a wedding and seen or heard their work. Double check what exactly they offer within
their fee. Are there any extras? and if so, are they reasonable? One important recommendation and it applies
basically to anything and everything: Never assume. Have you heard the saying that to assume makes an 'ass' out of
'u' and 'me'? It is very true. Make a list of what you expect and double check that the service offered includes
everything. Once you have made your choices double check the contract and reserve your date as soon as possible.
Reception:
Double check the reception seating arrangement. This can avoid several potential problems. After numerous
changes we thought that everything was sorted out only to find at the reception that two sets of guests enjoyed the
same first names and ‘quelle horreur’ both parties were already happily seated at the ‘parent’s of the bride’ table.
Rather than embarrass the 'extra' couple we just sat at another table as, by this time, we had learnt a valuable
lesson: nothing is, or probably should be, perfect.....
The fantastic 3 tier cake was breathtaking but tilting slightly to the right.
My beautiful silk blouse with the stylish crossover design decided to gape open to such an extent that when I sat
down alone in my pew in the front row of the church I inadvertently offered our priest considerably more than the
usual monetary offering.
On double checking the limousines arrival schedule on the morning of the wedding we discovered that they had
confirmed the dates etc correctly but had actually booked us in for the same time in February (the wedding was in
October). Then this company with an impeccable local reputation asked if we were sure of our dates!
And the icing on our particular cake was that our hitherto reliable Chrysler Town and Country Limited mini van, being
used to escort my sister and her family for the day, arrived at the church and decided that it was not going anywhere
else.
Notwithstanding all of the headaches the final result was a wonderful wedding. Our daughter looked beautiful. The
men exceptionally handsome. The music was lovely. The food delicious. And we all danced for hours…. But still one
final problem: The limousine arrived from the Gaylord Palms an hour early and for some inexplicable reason
departed and did not return. The glowing bride and groom, not wanting to alarm or upset anyone, left the reception
with all the expected pomp and circumstance to wait in an inner room until we had all departed…. And so in the early
hours a young bride could be seen with her crinoline waving in the breeze as she sat in the back of an open topped
two seater sports car being escorted by their best man to their honeymoon suite. Yes…. memories are made of this.
Apropos the recommendations: We could have avoided several problems by hiring a wedding planner but we decided
that we wanted to keep a finger on the pulse at all times however sometimes you just need to relinquish the reins and
allow those who are professionals to do job they are trained to do. There will always be unavoidable hiccups so the
single most important factor is our final recommendation. If a wedding is overshadowed by too many demanding
expectations then fate will dictate that it will fall short of your hopes and dreams. Try and avoid the pitfalls but if you
are reasonable and accept that problems are a fact of life, and therefore of your wedding, then you will enjoy your
day far better.
I hope that this information is of some assistance and that you can at least avoid our mistakes.
We would love to hear from you about your own wedding day. Please email us your hiccups, advice, problems and
special memories.
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Long Island Weddings - Long Island's community wedding resource with chat, articles, and more.
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